Pursuit - A Poem
The following is a poem that I wrote in February this year.
I have never shared it with anyone before as I'm one of those people who write for themselves. You know, personal stuff and all that... (especially this one)
But I decided to bite the bullet and go ahead to post this. Sharing is healthy, it might help me develop my poetry writing skills, so here we go.
I know it's long, but please stick with it.
Thank you, I look forward to hearing your thoughts.
Pursuit - Poem 9
When I was younger than I can remember, I met someone.
As heroes we jumped on rooftops,
Slayed beasts in the sewers,
Tore evil apart!
But he also tore up me.
If I would so much as glance the other way
his hand would take my wrist and twist it and twist it until I cried in defeat.
And I loved him.
And I wasn't sure what kind of love it was,
whether is was right or wrong,
or whether I should pursue it.
But I didn't.
Not long after this time I had moved on.
We chased each other in the playground.
I discovered the word 'crush'
"I think I have a crush on you" I'd said,
"I think that I do to."
A Golden reply.
But a few months later these words would change.
"You're a waste of breath!" The words weren't his,
I knew he'd heard it somewhere before but still it crushed me to the floor
And I loved him.
And I wasn't sure what kind of love it was,
whether it was right or wrong
or whether I should pursue it.
But I didn't.
A few years down the line I had stayed alone and taken to watching from a distance.
But as a teenager, as a human being, as a student in a school,
it's impossible to escape contact.
And that's how I met someone.
The new kid in class.
My job to show them around.
I didn't want to.
I had no sense of direction, I couldn't even find my way to the girls' bathroom so why was it my job?
But together we found our way all the way to London and back.
We shared secrets and dreams!
All of our secrets!
Except for one.
The one where I loved her.
And I wasn't sure what kind of love it was,
whether it was right or wrong
or whether I should pursue it.
But I didn't.
And even further still when I had escaped that place
I was sure to make a new name for myself.
And I met someone.
We shared the same hobbies,
same classes, same ties
and we helped each other through what was a difficult time.
Except for that one part.
That part where I loved her.
And I wasn't sure what kind of love it was,
whether it was right or wrong
or whether I should pursue it.
But I didn't.
And then, one year later,
After knowing of each other for all this time,
I really met someone.
We too shared the same hobbies,
same classes and ties
And some things we didn't agree about but that was fine
because it made for conversation
and such great conversation it was!
And we talked and we talked,
we shared are secrets and dreams,
we told each other everything
including the part
where I loved him.
And I wasn't sure what kind of love it was,
whether it was right or wrong
or whether I should pursue it.
But this time...
This time I did.
And he did too
And we still do.
And everything fit together
and I finally became comfortable with the fact
that all those past experiences really were love,
and not any less the right one.
They may not have been the big guns or the headline act,
and they certainly weren't ideal.
But they'd led me to this exact point.
They'd pin balled me until I bounced into the right arms.
The kind of arms that would catch me.
Not twist me or push me away
but really keep hold.
So much so that I'd want to stay.
And I love him.
And I don't care what kind of love it is,
or whether it's right or wrong.
I don't care whether or not I should pursue it
because it's too late now.
I already am!
And if this is it, if this is my love,
I will continue to be as happy as ever I have been.
And if it isn't, if this love should ever die.
That doesn't make it any less the right one.
And I will be grateful for its time.
© 2014 Amy Naylor